Following God is a troublesome and confusing thing to me. I know most Christians don't like to admit it, but how do we really "follow" God? I'm always concerned that when I take a new step that it's actually God I'm following. How do I know what His plan is for me? How can I be sure?
Whenever life brings change, (and it's always come very often for me) I constantly question, "Is this of You, God?"
Already this morning, I've already asked the question, and I've gotten an answer that I've gotten MANY times before. The only way to know if I'm following God is to know Him so well that I know His heart for me. I've lived on this earth for 32 years, and I've followed God for 25 of those. I've already figured out that God's plan for me isn't to be rich, famous, exotic, fancy, or eloquent. I do know that God's plan for me though, includes me serving Him in ministry...but that's where the confusion lies. Where? How? When? In what capacity?
For people all over the world, hearing and listening to the voice of God means many different things, according to the individual person. For me, it's always been a strong impression upon my heart, resulting in a burden for a specific task. Usually, most of the time, I'll hear songs, sermons, and quotes that surround the same subject, as if God is sending me every possible message He can possibly send me.
I'm struggling right now to figure out what God's next step is for me in lay ministry. I don't know what it is yet, but I can tell you that a burden is forming. This is where the searching of God's heart comes in. I must know Him so well, and know His heart for me so well, that I understand fully where He's leading me.
This morning, I'm reminded of an old song we used to sing in college
Change my heart, O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart, O God
May I be like You.
You are the Potter, I am the clay
Mold me and make me
This is what I pray
Change my heart, O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart, O God
May I be like You.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
2 More Days!
The Christmas excitement has got me wide awake on this, my only day to sleep in. I woke at 5:00 a.m. thinking about things such as a 3 day weekend, gingerbread house making, the kids opening presents, and it's all EXCITING!!!
Today is Sunday, though. It's the last Sunday of Advent, and I'm sad to see it go. The season of Christmas is always so exciting and joyful in Churches. Even churches that are having problems seem to be able to put their issues aside during Advent and just let the peace, hope, and joy of Christ reign a while.
When I pastored, I admit I always was sad to see Advent come to a close because I knew Satan would rear His ugly head once the new year had begun. When we start to think about New Year's resolutions and goals for the coming year, a seem of discontent and dissatisfaction of where we are in life always seems to be sown. But not this year...not for me.
2012 was a weird year. It brought the most pain I've ever experienced, but at the same time, I also received the greatest answer to prayer I've ever received. I'm glad for a new year that's coming, but for right now, I just want to be excited about the here and now. I'm soooo excited about what this week brings.
What are you looking forward to this week?
Today is Sunday, though. It's the last Sunday of Advent, and I'm sad to see it go. The season of Christmas is always so exciting and joyful in Churches. Even churches that are having problems seem to be able to put their issues aside during Advent and just let the peace, hope, and joy of Christ reign a while.
When I pastored, I admit I always was sad to see Advent come to a close because I knew Satan would rear His ugly head once the new year had begun. When we start to think about New Year's resolutions and goals for the coming year, a seem of discontent and dissatisfaction of where we are in life always seems to be sown. But not this year...not for me.
2012 was a weird year. It brought the most pain I've ever experienced, but at the same time, I also received the greatest answer to prayer I've ever received. I'm glad for a new year that's coming, but for right now, I just want to be excited about the here and now. I'm soooo excited about what this week brings.
- One last time of worship in Advent
- Gingerbread house making
- Visiting a friend tonight
- Christmas cookie making
- Family time
- Annual picture taking in new Christmas pajamas
- Awesome family devotions
- Gift opening
- An easy (hopefully) few days at work
- Going home!
What are you looking forward to this week?
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The Beginning of the End
Let me first start by saying that I do not believe for one moment that the end of the world will be happening tomorrow. But I do believe it could be today.
I don't think the Mayans had any sort of information aside from the information that we have today. We read in Matthew chapter 24 that no one knows the day or the hour that Christ is coming for His church, not even the angels OR Christ Himself...only the Father knows. That tells me one thing...we KNOW it will not be Friday.
I've heard a few reports from families in our area that are stockpiling water, ammunition, food, batteries, and emergency supplies just in case the Mayans were let in on a secret that we weren't privy to. That's all fine and good. I think we should all be prepared in an emergency.
What I'm wondering about though is this: Why aren't they concerned with what really matters? I haven't heard ANYONE talking about how we should be trying to point these people to Jesus. If they're so panicked about the world ending, don't we think they could be ripe for the harvest? There's obviously a need that's yet to be fulfilled in their lives. Why haven't we met it?
There were even news stories this morning about certain mountains in the United States that are believed to be gateways to time travel. There are people camping on those mountains this week just because they think they will be the first to enter. My husband personally took a plane ride a few months ago and sat next to a woman that watched out the window the whole time, expecting to see aliens appearing. It just amazes me what people believe in...but the fact that there was a Messiah sent by God Himself to die for our sins...that's too far-fetched?!?!
Heath and I didn't buy any extra water, but we have been buying a little ammunition here and there...but that's a whole other post entirely....
I'm asking myself though...what if TODAY is the end of the world? Are we prepared? I could care less about water, money that'll probably be useless, or other "emergency" items. In the end, all that matters is my relationship with Jesus. Have I prepared my family for the utmost urgent need?
I don't think the Mayans had any sort of information aside from the information that we have today. We read in Matthew chapter 24 that no one knows the day or the hour that Christ is coming for His church, not even the angels OR Christ Himself...only the Father knows. That tells me one thing...we KNOW it will not be Friday.
I've heard a few reports from families in our area that are stockpiling water, ammunition, food, batteries, and emergency supplies just in case the Mayans were let in on a secret that we weren't privy to. That's all fine and good. I think we should all be prepared in an emergency.
What I'm wondering about though is this: Why aren't they concerned with what really matters? I haven't heard ANYONE talking about how we should be trying to point these people to Jesus. If they're so panicked about the world ending, don't we think they could be ripe for the harvest? There's obviously a need that's yet to be fulfilled in their lives. Why haven't we met it?
There were even news stories this morning about certain mountains in the United States that are believed to be gateways to time travel. There are people camping on those mountains this week just because they think they will be the first to enter. My husband personally took a plane ride a few months ago and sat next to a woman that watched out the window the whole time, expecting to see aliens appearing. It just amazes me what people believe in...but the fact that there was a Messiah sent by God Himself to die for our sins...that's too far-fetched?!?!
Heath and I didn't buy any extra water, but we have been buying a little ammunition here and there...but that's a whole other post entirely....
I'm asking myself though...what if TODAY is the end of the world? Are we prepared? I could care less about water, money that'll probably be useless, or other "emergency" items. In the end, all that matters is my relationship with Jesus. Have I prepared my family for the utmost urgent need?
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Christmas in the Parsonage
This time of year brings a lot of nostalgia. The movie White Christmas and Alabama's Christmas CDs are my favorite. But there are also other thoughts that come to mind this time of year. Christmastime makes me think of handmade purses, LifeSaver books, Avon perfume, and brown paper bags filled with fruit and peppermint. You see, I think I was the most blessed preacher's kid on the planet. Every Christmas was made special because of church people that truly cared for my sister and me. They prayed for us, blessed us with gifts, invested in us, and believed in us. We didn't have a lot monetarily or materially throughout the year, but Christmas...Christmas was different. The cabinets couldn't hold the food that the church gave as they "pounded" the pastor. An extra week's pay was the normal, but church members would always give above and beyond the Church's gift.
Because of that church's love for us, the bar was set high for any church family that came into our lives as Heath and I started our own ministry. Each church we've pastored has been different, but at Christmas, they've always come through. Every one of those churches loved our children, and symbolically gave them something they knew my kids would enjoy at Christmas.
It wasn't about the gifts. It's never been about the gifts. Even when thinking about the earliest Christmas memory I have at church, I've always been in amazement that people would take the time and money to give something to someone as "insignificant" as the preacher's kids.
But because of the churches I've been blessed to be a part of, I've always known that should the time ever come, I would give back.
I couldn't wait this year to get involved in a church so that I could give. We didn't have much time this year to get to know them, so I settled on giving the kids gift cards to their favorite stores. I was shocked and amazed when their mom told me that no church member had ever remembered their kids at Christmas. What?!?!
If you haven't already, please remember your pastor's family this year at Christmas. They work hard all year long to take care of your family, most of the time, away from their own. They don't get to go spend time with their families at holidays like Easter and Christmas because they're ministering. It's not just the pastor that works in the ministry. The whole family is involved. The whole family gets to church early, stays late, cleans up during the week, plans events, sits in the car while dad visits at the hospital, and sacrifices financially.
They deserve all the joy in the world that we can offer. Let's show gratitude. Let me tell you....when you do...you'll receive joy in return.
Because of that church's love for us, the bar was set high for any church family that came into our lives as Heath and I started our own ministry. Each church we've pastored has been different, but at Christmas, they've always come through. Every one of those churches loved our children, and symbolically gave them something they knew my kids would enjoy at Christmas.
It wasn't about the gifts. It's never been about the gifts. Even when thinking about the earliest Christmas memory I have at church, I've always been in amazement that people would take the time and money to give something to someone as "insignificant" as the preacher's kids.
But because of the churches I've been blessed to be a part of, I've always known that should the time ever come, I would give back.
I couldn't wait this year to get involved in a church so that I could give. We didn't have much time this year to get to know them, so I settled on giving the kids gift cards to their favorite stores. I was shocked and amazed when their mom told me that no church member had ever remembered their kids at Christmas. What?!?!
If you haven't already, please remember your pastor's family this year at Christmas. They work hard all year long to take care of your family, most of the time, away from their own. They don't get to go spend time with their families at holidays like Easter and Christmas because they're ministering. It's not just the pastor that works in the ministry. The whole family is involved. The whole family gets to church early, stays late, cleans up during the week, plans events, sits in the car while dad visits at the hospital, and sacrifices financially.
They deserve all the joy in the world that we can offer. Let's show gratitude. Let me tell you....when you do...you'll receive joy in return.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The Body of Christ
I cried myself to sleep last night and then continued this morning when I woke up. Someone, another Christian, has hurt me deeply, and the bad thing about it is...they know it, and they do not care. I think, in fact, they may get joy from knowing that they've hurt me. I admit that I threw a pity party most of the day.
I sincerely hope that I've never hurt someone in such a way. It seems to me that wound hurt worse when it's from within the body of Christ. Why, if we are of one body, do we continue to hurt others? Why do we intentionally, carnally, go after blood, so to speak, just so we can get our way or feel justified in our opinions?
I told my husband last night that the worst hurts of my life have come from someone in the church. And it's true. There's nothing that hurts worse than hearing cut-downs and malicious talk from someone that's supposed to be an edifying presence in our lives. I may be too sensitive. I may take things the wrong way sometimes, and I may be hesitant to receive constructive criticism. I've tried to work on that, and I honestly believe that I've come a long way.
But in this instance, I left my heart open and vulnerable to this attack of Satan. And that is what it is...it's an attack of Satan. But it's hard to understand how Satan can possible use someone that is supposed to be a Christian.
Don't get me wrong...I'm not calling the person who hurt me demon possessed. But I do think that sometimes people's personal opinions, dogmas, and bad attitudes get in the way of God using them, and they inadvertently become a tool of Satan. In our carnal state, Satan breeds things like contempt, fear, and pride in the heart of an off-their-guard believer, and before you know it, contempt, fear, and pride have been bred into the body of Christ as well.
This afternoon, I was crying to my friend, and she said, "I know our trust is supposed to be in God, and not in people, but we are supposed to be a "body." I feel like the body is like a person that cuts himself." How true. She's referring of course, 1 Corinthians 12:24-27 that says, "But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. "
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can't we care for one another in the same way that we care for our own physical bodies. I know that times of hurt are going to come, but when that happens, why can't we administer caring treatment and not further damage?
My conclusions were:
1) Pain is a part of life. While I can't put my hope in people, I should understand that pain is a sign that the body is sick. I have the ability to administer care where it is needed.
2) I pray that I am more aware to the feelings of others around me...and that I care enough to do something about them.
What about you? Have you done something to damage the body? Are you doing your part in the body? I think the body needs a physical.
I sincerely hope that I've never hurt someone in such a way. It seems to me that wound hurt worse when it's from within the body of Christ. Why, if we are of one body, do we continue to hurt others? Why do we intentionally, carnally, go after blood, so to speak, just so we can get our way or feel justified in our opinions?
I told my husband last night that the worst hurts of my life have come from someone in the church. And it's true. There's nothing that hurts worse than hearing cut-downs and malicious talk from someone that's supposed to be an edifying presence in our lives. I may be too sensitive. I may take things the wrong way sometimes, and I may be hesitant to receive constructive criticism. I've tried to work on that, and I honestly believe that I've come a long way.
But in this instance, I left my heart open and vulnerable to this attack of Satan. And that is what it is...it's an attack of Satan. But it's hard to understand how Satan can possible use someone that is supposed to be a Christian.
Don't get me wrong...I'm not calling the person who hurt me demon possessed. But I do think that sometimes people's personal opinions, dogmas, and bad attitudes get in the way of God using them, and they inadvertently become a tool of Satan. In our carnal state, Satan breeds things like contempt, fear, and pride in the heart of an off-their-guard believer, and before you know it, contempt, fear, and pride have been bred into the body of Christ as well.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can't we care for one another in the same way that we care for our own physical bodies. I know that times of hurt are going to come, but when that happens, why can't we administer caring treatment and not further damage?
My conclusions were:
1) Pain is a part of life. While I can't put my hope in people, I should understand that pain is a sign that the body is sick. I have the ability to administer care where it is needed.
2) I pray that I am more aware to the feelings of others around me...and that I care enough to do something about them.
What about you? Have you done something to damage the body? Are you doing your part in the body? I think the body needs a physical.
Thanksgiving
There are a lot of people on Facebook right now giving thanks every day during the day of November for something or someone in their life. It's refreshing really, to read thankful comments as opposed to complaints, grumbles, bickering, and just down-right nastiness.
I have noticed however, that this being the 13th day of the month, a lot of people have dropped off the "thankful wagon." Are we really a people in the United States that is so consumed with having more that we've run out of things for which to be thankful? Have we gotten so used to the luxuries of life that we don't even notice them anymore and we're no longer thankful?
These last few months have been hard, and I'm having more hard days it seems than good ones. I could start a list here of the things that are wrong, and honestly, I have made lists before in all the ways I'm failing. No joke. My list-making tendencies took over that day. But I won't give in to the tricks of the enemy. He wants me to focus on the negative and overlook the sometimes small blessings of everyday life.
Back to the Facebook thankfulness thing...I honestly am running out of big things to be thankful for. But does it really matter if they're grand, big, and impressive? God meets our needs in the smallest of ways sometimes, and really, does He even owe us anything at all?
So here it is. Next week, we will celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving. On that day, my husband, my kids, and I will remember the American holiday, but I am committed more than ever that they will understand what it really means to be thankful. To drive home the concept, I'm going to give a prize to the kid who says, "Thank you," the most during the day. They just don't know it yet.
We will make paper bag Indian vests, Indian headdresses, paper turkeys, paper pilgrim hats, and do as much decorating as my crayon drawer can afford. I will roast a turkey, make southern cornbread dressing, and we'll be miserable all afternoon after eating, but that night, Heath will go to work. Instead of complaining about him having to work on a holiday, we'll be thankful he has a job. The next day, we'll go stand in line at Cabela's to get his gift, and instead of complaining about the crowds, we'll be thankful for the good sale, and we'll be thankful we have the money to purchase a gift of non-necessity.
We have a tendency, even in the Christian tradition, to only request prayer for sickness, negative things, and fear that our nation is turning bad. But what if we asked people to help us thank God for the blessings we've received this year. I think the attitude of gratitude might show just a little more.
I have noticed however, that this being the 13th day of the month, a lot of people have dropped off the "thankful wagon." Are we really a people in the United States that is so consumed with having more that we've run out of things for which to be thankful? Have we gotten so used to the luxuries of life that we don't even notice them anymore and we're no longer thankful?
These last few months have been hard, and I'm having more hard days it seems than good ones. I could start a list here of the things that are wrong, and honestly, I have made lists before in all the ways I'm failing. No joke. My list-making tendencies took over that day. But I won't give in to the tricks of the enemy. He wants me to focus on the negative and overlook the sometimes small blessings of everyday life.
Back to the Facebook thankfulness thing...I honestly am running out of big things to be thankful for. But does it really matter if they're grand, big, and impressive? God meets our needs in the smallest of ways sometimes, and really, does He even owe us anything at all?
So here it is. Next week, we will celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving. On that day, my husband, my kids, and I will remember the American holiday, but I am committed more than ever that they will understand what it really means to be thankful. To drive home the concept, I'm going to give a prize to the kid who says, "Thank you," the most during the day. They just don't know it yet.
We will make paper bag Indian vests, Indian headdresses, paper turkeys, paper pilgrim hats, and do as much decorating as my crayon drawer can afford. I will roast a turkey, make southern cornbread dressing, and we'll be miserable all afternoon after eating, but that night, Heath will go to work. Instead of complaining about him having to work on a holiday, we'll be thankful he has a job. The next day, we'll go stand in line at Cabela's to get his gift, and instead of complaining about the crowds, we'll be thankful for the good sale, and we'll be thankful we have the money to purchase a gift of non-necessity.
We have a tendency, even in the Christian tradition, to only request prayer for sickness, negative things, and fear that our nation is turning bad. But what if we asked people to help us thank God for the blessings we've received this year. I think the attitude of gratitude might show just a little more.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Protection
A year ago today could've been very different. I posted last year about the dog attacks. So many times since that day, I've recounted the events of to other people, always being very careful to give God glory for His protection. In almost every testimony of that day, people have responded, "You were so lucky. Things could've turned out so different." This is true. I still can't believe that I was able to stand up the whole time I had two dogs hanging from my arms, trying desperately to tear me down. Thank God! I was standing the whole time. I shudder to think and have often had nightmares about what could've happened if I had fallen. Thank God! My children stayed in the car the whole time! I shudder to think and have had nightmares about what could've happened if they had gotten out. Thank God! My pregnant friend was not harmed during the whole ordeal. I shudder to think and have had nightmares about what could've happened if they had decided to turn on her. Thank God! Heath was with me and was able to take me to the emergency room. I shudder to think about how I would've gotten there if I had to drive myself. Thank God! I prayed during the attacks that they would somehow just let go....and they did! Thank God! For sweet friends and parishioners who prayed for me, and for my friend who owned the dogs. They exhibited Christ-like love, forgiveness, and acceptance to her, a babe in Christ.
I've often wondered about the concept of God's protection. I know it's real. Countless times, I've seen it. There's no doubt in my mind that God protects us more times than we can even imagine. But I have wondered...what does it look like? Are there always angels? The Psalmist writes in the 91st Psalm, "He will give His angels charge over thee to guard you in all your ways." I mean, does the angel always cover us from harm? Or does God Himself provide a shelter of protection. One of my favorite Scripture songs comes from Proverbs 18:10 says, "The Name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and they are safe." My wonderings don't really matter. The very fact that God protected me and gave me the assurance of His presence is enough! His grace is sufficient for me, and continues to be overflowing in my life.
I admit that today, I got lost in my thoughts about the events of one year ago today. It was overwhelming, and I was tempted to relive bad memories. I couldn't help though but be thankful for ALL that God has done for me. He protected, and He provided. I praise His Name!
I've often wondered about the concept of God's protection. I know it's real. Countless times, I've seen it. There's no doubt in my mind that God protects us more times than we can even imagine. But I have wondered...what does it look like? Are there always angels? The Psalmist writes in the 91st Psalm, "He will give His angels charge over thee to guard you in all your ways." I mean, does the angel always cover us from harm? Or does God Himself provide a shelter of protection. One of my favorite Scripture songs comes from Proverbs 18:10 says, "The Name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and they are safe." My wonderings don't really matter. The very fact that God protected me and gave me the assurance of His presence is enough! His grace is sufficient for me, and continues to be overflowing in my life.
I admit that today, I got lost in my thoughts about the events of one year ago today. It was overwhelming, and I was tempted to relive bad memories. I couldn't help though but be thankful for ALL that God has done for me. He protected, and He provided. I praise His Name!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
A Little Boy's Lunch
This morning I awoke with a migraine. Today is NOT the day to have a migraine.
This summer, I have the unique privilege of watching a 6 year old boy while his parents work during the day. In addition to my own 2 kids and Nolan, I was to be joined this morning by a couple of other kids for our Backyard Bible School. BBS meets at my house this week, and today's craft was especially physically taxing for me. Paint was involved...enough said.
When I came downstairs, I immediately took some Aleve, hoping that the pain would subside enough for me to function. Aleve didn't really seem to interested in helping me out, but I trudged through the morning anyway, hoping I could just get through BBS.
The time came.
I started the lesson which was centered around the Scriptures where Jesus feeds the multitude, by blessing the boy's lunch of fish and bread. The point I tried to make to the kids was two-fold. The same God who performed the miracle of making the food stretch enough to feed 5000 with some left over, is the same God we still serve today. If he can make a boy's lunch stretch, He can do miracles with what we have to offer as well.
The second point I made to the kids is that God cares about every little detail of our lives...even right down to the lunch menu. Nothing is too insignificant for God to care about and respond.
As I tried to keep my head from splitting open, I realized that right then and there, God was doing just those miracles in me. He took what little I had to offer this morning and stretched it, and He blessed it! Not only that, God cares that my head hurts! There's really no reason for the heaches. They just come and go as they please. I really don't have any control over them, but He does!
Back to the blessing of the lesson part... A 6 year old girl responded! The pressures that kids face to today are tremendous. She apparently was having a hard time and accepted the promise today of a loving God who cares, understands, and responds to our needs.
God is faithful! And I praise His Name!
P. S. My headache is almost all gone!
This summer, I have the unique privilege of watching a 6 year old boy while his parents work during the day. In addition to my own 2 kids and Nolan, I was to be joined this morning by a couple of other kids for our Backyard Bible School. BBS meets at my house this week, and today's craft was especially physically taxing for me. Paint was involved...enough said.
When I came downstairs, I immediately took some Aleve, hoping that the pain would subside enough for me to function. Aleve didn't really seem to interested in helping me out, but I trudged through the morning anyway, hoping I could just get through BBS.
The time came.
I started the lesson which was centered around the Scriptures where Jesus feeds the multitude, by blessing the boy's lunch of fish and bread. The point I tried to make to the kids was two-fold. The same God who performed the miracle of making the food stretch enough to feed 5000 with some left over, is the same God we still serve today. If he can make a boy's lunch stretch, He can do miracles with what we have to offer as well.
The second point I made to the kids is that God cares about every little detail of our lives...even right down to the lunch menu. Nothing is too insignificant for God to care about and respond.
As I tried to keep my head from splitting open, I realized that right then and there, God was doing just those miracles in me. He took what little I had to offer this morning and stretched it, and He blessed it! Not only that, God cares that my head hurts! There's really no reason for the heaches. They just come and go as they please. I really don't have any control over them, but He does!
Back to the blessing of the lesson part... A 6 year old girl responded! The pressures that kids face to today are tremendous. She apparently was having a hard time and accepted the promise today of a loving God who cares, understands, and responds to our needs.
God is faithful! And I praise His Name!
P. S. My headache is almost all gone!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Waiting
I have spent the majority of my life waiting. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait until I got my driver's license. Then I waited to graduate from high school. I went to college and then waited to get married. Then all I wanted was to graduate from college. I waited for that too.
Nowadays, I do a different kind of waiting. I've waited for job promotions. I've waited for vacations, and right now, I'm waiting my income tax refund to arrive. Mostly though, I just wait on Heath to get home from work.
I've realized that I keep waiting on things to happen, never really taking the time to enjoy the moment or time that I'm given. I know we all have heard the cliches that are on bumper stickers or our Facebook walls, "Enjoy today because tomorrow is never promised," or "Today only happens once." Whatever cliche you've heard, it's likely that you're like me. You nod your head in agreement and even mentally assent that those sayings are true. And while they are perfectly true, we rarely live by them.
I've spent my entire life waiting...always waiting for the next thing to happen so that I can enjoy the moment, but I'm a very impatient person. I've thought about this issue of waiting for so long, that I can fully picture myself in 40-50 years, checked into my nursing home, settled in my hospital bed, waiting to die. You may laugh at my thoughts, but if I'm not careful, before I know it, this picture will be my reality.
Why am I like this? I honestly think that my lack of self-confidence has kept me from believing that I have something to offer the world...just the way I am now...and with the resources I have now.
It's true that I won't get a "do-over" for today, and that I'm not promised tomorrow. Today I will play with my children. I will love my husband. I will let the dishes sit in the sink a few more hours, and I will walk over to meet my neighbor in the yard. I will sit on the porch and enjoy the nice weather and thank God for the blessing of today.
What am I waiting for? I don't know. Life is here. I don't want to wish it away anymore.
Nowadays, I do a different kind of waiting. I've waited for job promotions. I've waited for vacations, and right now, I'm waiting my income tax refund to arrive. Mostly though, I just wait on Heath to get home from work.
I've realized that I keep waiting on things to happen, never really taking the time to enjoy the moment or time that I'm given. I know we all have heard the cliches that are on bumper stickers or our Facebook walls, "Enjoy today because tomorrow is never promised," or "Today only happens once." Whatever cliche you've heard, it's likely that you're like me. You nod your head in agreement and even mentally assent that those sayings are true. And while they are perfectly true, we rarely live by them.
I've spent my entire life waiting...always waiting for the next thing to happen so that I can enjoy the moment, but I'm a very impatient person. I've thought about this issue of waiting for so long, that I can fully picture myself in 40-50 years, checked into my nursing home, settled in my hospital bed, waiting to die. You may laugh at my thoughts, but if I'm not careful, before I know it, this picture will be my reality.
Why am I like this? I honestly think that my lack of self-confidence has kept me from believing that I have something to offer the world...just the way I am now...and with the resources I have now.
It's true that I won't get a "do-over" for today, and that I'm not promised tomorrow. Today I will play with my children. I will love my husband. I will let the dishes sit in the sink a few more hours, and I will walk over to meet my neighbor in the yard. I will sit on the porch and enjoy the nice weather and thank God for the blessing of today.
What am I waiting for? I don't know. Life is here. I don't want to wish it away anymore.
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