God's Timing

God's timing has always meant one thing for me: wait. I recognize the importance of waiting on Him as well as the divine plan that only He knows for me. I recognize that God's plan is the best plan, and I wholeheartedly am open to His leading and direction.

However, God always seems to take so long! Until now. It seems that the days don't have enough time in them, and the weeks are flying by. Looming. I'm afraid we're going to miss the springtime window to list our house because it's not ready. And just when I'm getting a grasp that we have three weeks to finish, someone expresses interest. Serious interest. I'm over-the-moon happy that someone wants our house, and I'm thrilled at the prospect of who wants it. It's someone we know.

It's someone we know. It's someone we care about. Therefore, my heart, soul, and most thoughts are centered toward doing what's best for the people interested in our house. I want to do a good job on the renovations, and I want to help these people any way I can. Therefore...there's more stress.

God's timing seems to be coming pretty quickly these days...there's no waiting around this time. He's moving...fast! So fast in fact that my back hurts, my thighs are screaming, and my feet just want to stop!

It's a mystery to me. Why do I always wait and wait and wait impatiently for God to move, and then when He does, I'm screaming, "Slow down!" His strength is perfect for me, and these days, I'm just praying for stamina. How can I follow Him when I'm running ahead or running behind?

I have no doubt that He will help us to get things completed in the timeframe He has in mind. But will I be ready? Or will my inward-bent nature try to control the situation (and timeline) once again?

If I'm honest, what I'm most worried about is me...and Heath. Will we be able to go to work still and work on the house when we're off? Will we have any time at all to spend together? We work well together, but believe me, we do have our intense moments of fellowship from time to time.

I don't know if there's an answer to the questions or situations that plague my mind, but I'm trust Him to lead, provide, guide, and move.

Legacy

I've been thinking a lot lately about the legacy we leave behind for our children. Heath's mom passed away recently, and as is custom, her children received things left for them in her will. Last week, Heath and I had a will made...just to protect our kids if something should happen unexpectedly.

As we were outlining our final wishes, it felt a bid morbid, scary, but I think it put a lot of things in perspective for me. We were talking about who should get custody of our children, money, property, and our material possessions. But no one ever said anything about the memory we would leave behind in their minds.

If something should happen to me and Heath today, and our children are raised by someone else, what will they remember? Will they remember parents who were stressed out and just put work ahead of them? Will they remember family dinners sat round the TV? Will they remember all the times I took my stress out on them?

I can't let that happen.

I was blessed to have a legacy of faith, unconditional love, and acceptance bestowed upon me when I was growing up. Not only that, but I was taught a tireless work ethic and the importance of loving my neighbor as myself. I want more than a fat college fund, for my children to have a legacy of holiness and Christ-likeness. I want them to remember fun family times that we spent together, and not just yearly vacations...  I want them to see the value of hard work, and the worth in investing in other people and in God's kingdom.

What can I do today in the midst of laundry, homeschool, and house renovations? I can speak kindly, hug a little longer, and teach them alongside my work. It won't take too long. I've just got to be intentional.