Thursday, March 11, 2010

Becky

Today is Becky's birthday.

Becky was a regular attender of our church when we arrived in January of 2009. She was a single lady in her mid-50's with no children. She worked at the University in the cafeteria for 37 years and loved her job.

It was apparent that she struggled financially and physically. She was diabetic, had high blood pressure, and had severe back problems. During the summers and over Christmas the University cafeteria closed down and so therefore, she had no income during those months. Her problems were great, and that is exactly what had driven her to church--and Her Lord during the summer of 2008.

We realized right away that Becky was no ordinary person. She loved to laugh, loved to love others, and loved to be loved. She thrived in church and she soaked up every word and thought that she possibly could. Often times I would look her way on purpose while I was preaching only to get encouragement from her in return. It was always so refreshing to see someone with a fresh spirit and hunger for God.

Our conversations always turned around sooner or later to the topic of God's faithfulness, goodness, and compassion. She was a babe in Christ and needed constant attention and feeding. It was at times emotionally draining but always fulfilling at the end of the day.

During the summer of 2009, Becky and I went to eat lunch one day and I noticed she was limping. This was to be the start of a lengthy illness and problems like we had never known before. Soon to be discovered, her back was in terrible shape with her spine twisted and contorted in such a way that the doctors really didn't give her any hope of ever helping. Because of this, she was unable to go back to work in the fall. It was hard for her financially...so hard that she ended up having to move and forget about former financial obligations just so she could have a roof over her head. Thanks to the generosity of fellow church members and family members, she moved to a subsidized housing unit, and she absolutely thrived! She was breathing much easier from the financial weight alone being lifted from her shoulders.

Then the phone call came two weeks later. Her niece called to tell me that Becky had suffered a major heart attack and the doctors weren't giving them much hope. When I got to the hospital and entered the ICU area, I saw Becky's body lying there being supported by a ventilator. The doctor came in that morning to notify the family that Becky had no brain activity and that they should think about removing her from the life support system.

I immediately knew that this was a situation that would not leave me the same as a pastor. I had never witnessed someone dying, and I had never met any of her family at all. The only thing I knew what that they didn't know the Lord, and here I am now with them trying to offer them the only support I knew--my God. I breathed a prayer for strength and plunged right in. God would see them through. God's grace is enough. I was assured that Becky would be with Him and completely healed.

I felt scared, empowered, shy, and bold--all at the same time. A voice and strength I didn't know I had came out, and I was able to minister in a time of chaos.

Becky left the world that day, but memories of her still linger in my mind. In the days that followed, I grieved--for all of the things I should've, could've, and would've taught her. I wondered, "Did I do/say all that I could've? Did I do a good enough job?"

I thought about the first day of school for my first-born. I constantly racked my mind her first day asking myself, "Did I teach her respect for elders? Did I teach her how to write her name? Does she know her parents' names/phone numbers just in case? Did I pack her a good lunch? Is she dressed well?"

As I thought about Becky standing before God, I thought along the same lines. Did I do a good enough job?

After the memorial service was over, and the family went on to go on with their lives, I understood anew the responsibility we have to minister. We're not promised tomorrow, and we're not promised another opportunity. Seize it while you have it.


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