Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room

Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

7 Days! In 7 days, just one week, my family and I will celebrate Christmas together. Gifts will be torn open, and the Christmas magic will explode. That's why today, just now even, I am deep-cleaning my home. Nobody's actually coming to my house besides the people that live here, but there's just something about a clean house on Christmas morning. I mean clean. Closets, baseboards, cabinets, the floor behind the big appliances...clean.

I don't know what exactly it is about cleanliness and holidays. But it seems to me that I can't really relax and enjoy the environment of excitement when there's a mess everywhere. I want to look back on photos of this Christmas and soak in the sweetness of my children's faces and not be distracted by the mess in the background.

I also have this crazy itch to help my kids (and me too) purge whatever isn't being used in their rooms and closets before Christmas. We donate any good-repair items to charity and the rest gets pitched. There's no need to keep things just for the sake of hoarding. And it makes finding a home in their room for new gifts a lot easier.

I know, I know...you'll read tons of blogs and articles on the web about just being "present in the moment." And you should. Absolutely, I am a firm believer that people come before process. People always come first...especially my own family. But for me, it's about preparing my home so that I have eliminated all distractions. The temptation is gone for me to be anything but present in the moment. I think my household cleanliness issue can mirror closely what should be happening in our hearts too.

I think of the Christmas carol, "Joy to the Word," and specifically, "Let ev'ry heart, prepare Him room..." This time of year, and all year, really, we are constantly bombarded with things to accomplish, stress, pressure, and temptations of all kinds. I think many times our hearts get so cluttered with all of the tactics of the enemy:  anxiety, jealousy, grief, resentment, stress, and many others I'm sure you could name.

If we don't take time at some point to take inventory of heart and purge all of the things that are unnecessary and allow the Holy Spirit to do some holiday cleaning, how will we ever be able to hear Him when He speaks and make room for His gifts? His gifts are simple, but oh so sweet: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, kindness and self-control.

When David prayed his prayer in Psalm 51:10, he was repenting of sin and asking God to renew his soul. I think we all could benefit from repeating David's prayer as well. "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." This year, my home won't be the only vessel ready for Christmas. Baseboards are on my list today. But when I'm on my knees scrubbing, I'll be praying David's prayer.

Unemployed

Romans 8:31b-32 "...If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?"

I'm unemployed. That's a good thing, really. I keep trying to tell myself that.

My husband got a long-awaited, long-overdue, and hard-earned promotion. No one was more deserving than him, and I'm extremely proud of and for him. But the promotion came with the price tag that we must move...again. It's the nature of the business, it is, and with new opportunities as large as my husband's promotion, comes relocation. Relocation to another state, our once-again home state of Arkansas.

Since the birth of our first child, 13 years ago, Heath and I have worked toward the goal of one day of me being able to stay at home and homeschool. I've homeschooled for years now, but I've always worked part-time, pastored, and sometimes, I've done both. It's been stressful, hard, tiring, and at times, my family didn't function so well. Now that Heath has transitioned to this new role, suddenly, all barriers have been removed! It's exciting right?

Well... the transition is complete. I'm bored. My kids are doing better than ever in school, and my house is spotless. I have time to read, to spend long periods of time in prayer, and I'm daydreaming of volunteer ministry opportunities. But in my heart, I've been discontent. How can I just sit here all day and be unproductive? Unproductive, some people may ask? That's the way I feel. Since I was 18 years old, I have been financially responsible for myself. I've worked since I was 16, taking upon a large portion even then of my financial burdens. I've been self-sufficient, self-reliant, and I've never asked anyone for anything.

And that's precisely the problem. My husband has worked his hands to the bone, literally some days, to give our family a gift, the gift of more time together, the gift of a less-chaotic household, and the gift to me of less-stressed living. He wants to be the sole provider of our family, and to extend to me what he pledged the day we were married. "All I have is your's," he said on our wedding day. All the while, I'm just trying to figure out a way to draw a paycheck.

This section of Romans 8 transitions from the former section, where Paul has explained the security of your relationship with Christ. There are no tricks, no loopholes, and no masks being worn. God is who He says He is, and He loves us so much that we willingly gave up His only son Jesus, so that we could be in a relationship with Him for eternity. And He proclaims that reasoning again here in 8:32, "Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?"

God desires to give us an inheritance and a place in His family. We don't even stop to realize how much God desires to meet our needs and to hold us in His hand. He wants to give us the free gift of salvation, and then He also wants to explain that NOTHING separates us from His love. Do we even realize sometimes that He loves us all so much? Romans 5:8 says, "Even while we were sinners..." He loved us even when we were in sin, and nothing changes that!

As I have tried to figure out the dynamic of my home while I'm not drawing an actual paycheck, my husband is happy as a lark that he is the sole bread winner. I've had the enemy on my shoulder, causing me to think that because I'm not employed, my husband will resent me. Will he see me as a moocher who sits on the sofa and eats bonbon's all day, I've wondered.

Of course he won't. He loves me, and I know it. The smell of PineSol, clean children, and pressed clothes in his closet prove I'm not sitting around all day. But the greatest thing of all, is that even when I do sit and watch HGTV for hours a day, he doesn't care. He loves me still.

That's the great thing about God too. When we're not at our best, He still loves us. Oh, His full desire is that we will work heartily to bring others to His kingdom. James tell us that works are indeed important. But faith must occupy them. But even when we're not at our best, and we just need to rest, He loves us still...just as much as He did before.



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The I AM

This week Heath and I were cleaning up and cleaning out. We started into the task...a task I always hate...cleaning out closets and junk rooms...yes, I said rooms...don't judge. Anyway, I came across a framed print someone had given us for our office years ago. Isaiah 61 is on the print which says, "1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. 5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. 6 And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast."

I couldn't get past verse 2 without crying, thinking about the chapter of our lives that is apparently over. The years of pastoring people...knowing that the Spirit of God anointed us was, to put it lightly, AWESOME. I got to tell hurting people every day that Jesus could set them free...not only that...but people CAME on PURPOSE to church to hear those messages. Every Sunday I used to be in awe that people actually came ON PURPOSE to hear me preach!

But that chapter of my life is over, and I'm kind of lost. Well, I'm not KIND of lost...I am lost. I don't really know what to do with myself. I've started teaching Sunday School at our church, and Heath and I are involved in the media aspect at church, but I'm not pastor anymore. I feel at times like I'm letting God down by not being in a position to tell people about Him full-time. People used to expect me to talk about God, but now...there's no expectation.

This morning I got up to study my Sunday School lesson, and I read a devotion first. This is an excerpt that I read probably 4 times....


"Backtrack and remember all the places I've been faithful in your life. And know with assurance. And boldness. And confidence. I AM. I AM the same faithful God."


Wow...Finally, the thought hit me. I have changed positions, roles, seasons of life...but He hasn't. He is still the great I AM, and He is still faithful.


I've always been a person that boasted that I liked change. I like rearranging furniture. I like to travel, I like new fashions, and I like new foods...but if I'm honest, changes in seasons of life scare the mess out of me. I know I've been harping on this for a while but I'm scared.


But i have to remember. The God who consoled Elijah in the changes of seasons of his life is the same God who hears me, who is faithful to me, and who has a plan for me. I may never preach in another pulpit again, but I have a place in His ministry. I can't wait to see what it is.