Unemployed

Romans 8:31b-32 "...If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?"

I'm unemployed. That's a good thing, really. I keep trying to tell myself that.

My husband got a long-awaited, long-overdue, and hard-earned promotion. No one was more deserving than him, and I'm extremely proud of and for him. But the promotion came with the price tag that we must move...again. It's the nature of the business, it is, and with new opportunities as large as my husband's promotion, comes relocation. Relocation to another state, our once-again home state of Arkansas.

Since the birth of our first child, 13 years ago, Heath and I have worked toward the goal of one day of me being able to stay at home and homeschool. I've homeschooled for years now, but I've always worked part-time, pastored, and sometimes, I've done both. It's been stressful, hard, tiring, and at times, my family didn't function so well. Now that Heath has transitioned to this new role, suddenly, all barriers have been removed! It's exciting right?

Well... the transition is complete. I'm bored. My kids are doing better than ever in school, and my house is spotless. I have time to read, to spend long periods of time in prayer, and I'm daydreaming of volunteer ministry opportunities. But in my heart, I've been discontent. How can I just sit here all day and be unproductive? Unproductive, some people may ask? That's the way I feel. Since I was 18 years old, I have been financially responsible for myself. I've worked since I was 16, taking upon a large portion even then of my financial burdens. I've been self-sufficient, self-reliant, and I've never asked anyone for anything.

And that's precisely the problem. My husband has worked his hands to the bone, literally some days, to give our family a gift, the gift of more time together, the gift of a less-chaotic household, and the gift to me of less-stressed living. He wants to be the sole provider of our family, and to extend to me what he pledged the day we were married. "All I have is your's," he said on our wedding day. All the while, I'm just trying to figure out a way to draw a paycheck.

This section of Romans 8 transitions from the former section, where Paul has explained the security of your relationship with Christ. There are no tricks, no loopholes, and no masks being worn. God is who He says He is, and He loves us so much that we willingly gave up His only son Jesus, so that we could be in a relationship with Him for eternity. And He proclaims that reasoning again here in 8:32, "Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?"

God desires to give us an inheritance and a place in His family. We don't even stop to realize how much God desires to meet our needs and to hold us in His hand. He wants to give us the free gift of salvation, and then He also wants to explain that NOTHING separates us from His love. Do we even realize sometimes that He loves us all so much? Romans 5:8 says, "Even while we were sinners..." He loved us even when we were in sin, and nothing changes that!

As I have tried to figure out the dynamic of my home while I'm not drawing an actual paycheck, my husband is happy as a lark that he is the sole bread winner. I've had the enemy on my shoulder, causing me to think that because I'm not employed, my husband will resent me. Will he see me as a moocher who sits on the sofa and eats bonbon's all day, I've wondered.

Of course he won't. He loves me, and I know it. The smell of PineSol, clean children, and pressed clothes in his closet prove I'm not sitting around all day. But the greatest thing of all, is that even when I do sit and watch HGTV for hours a day, he doesn't care. He loves me still.

That's the great thing about God too. When we're not at our best, He still loves us. Oh, His full desire is that we will work heartily to bring others to His kingdom. James tell us that works are indeed important. But faith must occupy them. But even when we're not at our best, and we just need to rest, He loves us still...just as much as He did before.



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