The I AM

This week Heath and I were cleaning up and cleaning out. We started into the task...a task I always hate...cleaning out closets and junk rooms...yes, I said rooms...don't judge. Anyway, I came across a framed print someone had given us for our office years ago. Isaiah 61 is on the print which says, "1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. 5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. 6 And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast."

I couldn't get past verse 2 without crying, thinking about the chapter of our lives that is apparently over. The years of pastoring people...knowing that the Spirit of God anointed us was, to put it lightly, AWESOME. I got to tell hurting people every day that Jesus could set them free...not only that...but people CAME on PURPOSE to church to hear those messages. Every Sunday I used to be in awe that people actually came ON PURPOSE to hear me preach!

But that chapter of my life is over, and I'm kind of lost. Well, I'm not KIND of lost...I am lost. I don't really know what to do with myself. I've started teaching Sunday School at our church, and Heath and I are involved in the media aspect at church, but I'm not pastor anymore. I feel at times like I'm letting God down by not being in a position to tell people about Him full-time. People used to expect me to talk about God, but now...there's no expectation.

This morning I got up to study my Sunday School lesson, and I read a devotion first. This is an excerpt that I read probably 4 times....


"Backtrack and remember all the places I've been faithful in your life. And know with assurance. And boldness. And confidence. I AM. I AM the same faithful God."


Wow...Finally, the thought hit me. I have changed positions, roles, seasons of life...but He hasn't. He is still the great I AM, and He is still faithful.


I've always been a person that boasted that I liked change. I like rearranging furniture. I like to travel, I like new fashions, and I like new foods...but if I'm honest, changes in seasons of life scare the mess out of me. I know I've been harping on this for a while but I'm scared.


But i have to remember. The God who consoled Elijah in the changes of seasons of his life is the same God who hears me, who is faithful to me, and who has a plan for me. I may never preach in another pulpit again, but I have a place in His ministry. I can't wait to see what it is.

'Til the Storm Passes By

We're struggling right now. All four of us are sick, Heath and I still have to go to work, and therefore, there is no energy, desire, ambition, or drive at all to do household tasks such as laundry, dishes, cooking, or grocery shopping. I have no time to take myself or anyone else to any doctor even because I can't take anybody else out in the cold. Geez, ugh, sigh!!! I think I may just take the whole family to the walk-in clinic tomorrow. I literally made a medicine chart to make sure everyone gets their medicine on time and no one is overdosed. The house is a wreck, there's nothing to eat, and I'm overwhelmed.

I'm reminded though that I really have it easy. When I was a kid, my mom was in and out of the hospital on a regular basis, and my daddy had no family around to help with us. He was torn whether to stay with my mom, take us home so we wouldn't have to see her so sick, or pastor the church.

He adopted a song that has comforted our family for three decades:

In the dark of the midnight have I oft hid my face
While the storms howl above me and there's no hiding place
Mid the crash of the thunder
Precious Lord, hear my cry
Keep me safe 'til the storm passes by

'Til the storm passes over, 'til the thunder sounds no more
'Til the clouds roll forever from the sky
Hold me fast, let me stand
In the hollow of thy hand
Keep me safe 'til the storm passes by