I am on facebook daily, and I have joined several homeschool type groups on there, but I'll be honest...I never really read their posts...that is, until now. Several days ago, there was a link posted to this particular article:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/03/AR2010030303075.html
Written by George F. Will of the Washington Post, this article outlines a new book entitled, Nature Shock: New Thinking About Children. Apparently authors,Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, feel that what they call "modern parents" who constantly build up their children are doing their offspring a harm. They go on to say that children who are encouraged do not deal well with failure. They say that parents who praise their children are actually praising themselves and Children who open their lunchboxes and find mothers' handwritten notes telling them how amazingly bright they are tend to falter when they encounter academic difficulties"
To say the least, I do not agree with the reporter or the book. While their viewpoint may have validity when it comes to the refusal to keep score in kids' soccer games or the practice of teaching kids to jump rope without a rope (in case they trip and feel let down), these are extreme examples.
You may have noticed the recent Hallmark commercial where the little girl is sitting in class and the teacher announces that it's test time. She opens a Hallmark card from her mom that encourages her and gives her the self-confidence to do well on her test.
Psychologists have loonnnnggg stated that children need encouragement and self-confidence. They may succeed without it, but they are a whole lot more likely to succeed with it.
The world tears children down faster than we could ever build them up. Just yesterday, I heard a story on Yahoo! News about a teacher in Buncombe County, North Carolina, that wrote on a 6th grader's paper,
"-20% for being a loser." Every time the student missed a question, instead of a check mark, the teacher would write "loser" out to the side of the missed question. Perfect example.
Not only are our children dealing with self-doubt and peer pressure, now they have to worry about teachers who don't like them and teachers that write "loser" on their papers.
What's wrong with encouragement? When I started school 25 years ago, it was extremely hard to face peers who made fun of me and therefore, I always had self doubts...throughout school. Home was the only safe place for me, and I knew my parents loved me...because they told me they loved me and they placed a sense of self-confidence in me that I was smart and capable of anything. I hate to think about what I would've been if my parents had just said, "Well, deal with it."
Why can't we teach our children that they're smart and a good person AND teach them that failure is going to happen and teach them how to deal with it? Why can't we tell them that failure is going to happen, but it doesn't mean that they're any less of a person because of it?
I love my kids. And I want them to know it.
