Physically Obese and Spiritually Malnourished

Matthew 4:4 “But Jesus told him, ‘No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ‘“ NLT

June 25, 2012 found me at the end of my rope. We had given everything we had to our ministry, but despite our best efforts, it just didn’t pay off in the tangible way we had hoped. The stress of the last few years had taken its toll on our family, our marriage, our finances, and our bodies. That day, it came to an end. I was physically obese and spiritually malnourished. We were drained, tired, burnt out, and I was obese.

For the first time in my entire life, I found myself outside of ministry, and it was an odd feeling. I had always had an identity in serving God, busy doing His work, whether as a pastor’s kid, a Bible college student, or a pastor. Now, I was none of those. What was my identity, I asked myself every day. I didn’t even have a job to contribute financially to my family, and my self-esteem was at an all-time low. All I was, was a fat woman, I thought. I believed it too. That’s all I was, and no one could take me seriously like this. What’s more, my spiritual life had been drained emotionally too. I was always giving out, serving, but never taking in enough spiritual nourishment to restore what I had given. I was so dry spiritually, and everything I read or heard, I just soaked up like a sponge. I was certain that my sponge would never be saturated again.

In our Scripture today, we find Jesus of all people, at low point. He has fasted for 40 days, is drained physically, and Satan is trying his best tactics to tempt Jesus and bring Him down. Jesus has an answer, though. Here Jesus refuses to use his God-given power to get something that He trusted God to give Him. It was God’s place to provide the strength Jesus needed. Originally, this verse is found in Deuteronomy chapter 8, when the children of Israel are complaining and struggling with unbelief in God to provide food and nourishment. Unlike Israel, Jesus here looks to God the Father, unswerving in His faith. Because the very thing that Jesus needed was a word from God. 

Sometimes we think we just need energy and strength, sometimes it’s a pat on the back in encouragement of our work for God. Other times, we pray for God to give us a sign that our labor for Him is “paying off,” but we must remember that our work for Him isn’t always visible in the here and now. We need only trust in the God who has always provided richly to His people and who gives us balance. There is no need to worry whether the manna will fall, but simply trust in the Word He has already spoken to us.

Sometimes we think we just need to lose weight, and things will be better. We fool ourselves to thinking that our problem is a physical one when often times, it’s a spiritual one. I’m totally of the opinion that our physical life affects our spiritual life in a big way, yet which is more important? I’ve heard it said that it would be a shame to be physically fit for this world yet unfit to meet the King of Kings. 

There will be seasons in life, seasons of both plenty and want. But in those times, we have to rely on the Word of God to sustain us. He has already provided!

Are you out of balance in the fitness of your physical and spiritual life? He can bring balance and order! Read through Deuteronomy 8 and Matthew 4:1-11 and contrast the Israelites’ response to Jesus’ response to times of testing.

Encouragement for Today

1 Timothy 4:8 “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” NLT

Philippians 3:19 “They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth.” NLT

Read more in my new book FitFaith, available on Amazon!

Long Time

It's been a really long time since I've posted anything on here. I've often wanted to, but never put my thoughts into action.

Since my last post, the worst (and best) times of ministry have taken place. Our church split. The pain of that whole ordeal was greater than even I imagined, and I could never want to come through that again. Since that time, we've tried to heal, although discouragement, despair, worry, and regret all took over...or seemed to at least.

Over the summer, we did some outreach events, and I confess, my heart wasn't all the way in them. I couldn't stop thinking about all that had happened and all that could STILL happen.

I knew in my heart and in my mind that God would provide a harvest if we were faithful to do our part. It's just in the last 2 months, God has blessed our efforts, and OH, is He blessing!

It's exciting to be a part of what God is doing, and it's exciting to be used.

Humbled

Heath and I are in the midst of deep research on co-pastors. There's not a lot of us out there, but the trend is growing. I don't like calling it a trend because it feels like we're calling it a fad. But at any rate, the model of co-ministry is growing.

As I was doing this research, I came across one Mary Lee Cagle. She actually led her future husband Henry to the Lord during one of her revival campaigns in 1897. In 1900, they were married, and the two worked together for the next 50 years as pastors, district superintendents, evangelists, and church planters with the Church of the Nazarene. In 1927 as circumstances had dictated, Henry was district superintendent in Texas while Mary Lee worked as the district evangelist. Her report to the 1927 District Assembly said:

"Our work has not been with the larger churches, but with the weak, struggling ones. I have held 13 revival meetings, preached 175 times, saw 216 converted and 118 sanctified, and... have travelled about 10,000 miles in a car and have made a few trips on the train. I have [visited] practically all of the churches in the district and some of them more than once. "

I don't know if I'm the only one or not, but her statements convict me to the core. What are we doing? Pastors today are so busy complaining and whining about unsupportive church members, finances, and seeker-friendly facilities, that we've totally neglected what we should be about. As I read Rev. Cagle's report, I felt unworthy to even write about her life. We've got to get busy. And when we stand before God, please don't let me be standing next to her!

Becky

Today is Becky's birthday.

Becky was a regular attender of our church when we arrived in January of 2009. She was a single lady in her mid-50's with no children. She worked at the University in the cafeteria for 37 years and loved her job.

It was apparent that she struggled financially and physically. She was diabetic, had high blood pressure, and had severe back problems. During the summers and over Christmas the University cafeteria closed down and so therefore, she had no income during those months. Her problems were great, and that is exactly what had driven her to church--and Her Lord during the summer of 2008.

We realized right away that Becky was no ordinary person. She loved to laugh, loved to love others, and loved to be loved. She thrived in church and she soaked up every word and thought that she possibly could. Often times I would look her way on purpose while I was preaching only to get encouragement from her in return. It was always so refreshing to see someone with a fresh spirit and hunger for God.

Our conversations always turned around sooner or later to the topic of God's faithfulness, goodness, and compassion. She was a babe in Christ and needed constant attention and feeding. It was at times emotionally draining but always fulfilling at the end of the day.

During the summer of 2009, Becky and I went to eat lunch one day and I noticed she was limping. This was to be the start of a lengthy illness and problems like we had never known before. Soon to be discovered, her back was in terrible shape with her spine twisted and contorted in such a way that the doctors really didn't give her any hope of ever helping. Because of this, she was unable to go back to work in the fall. It was hard for her financially...so hard that she ended up having to move and forget about former financial obligations just so she could have a roof over her head. Thanks to the generosity of fellow church members and family members, she moved to a subsidized housing unit, and she absolutely thrived! She was breathing much easier from the financial weight alone being lifted from her shoulders.

Then the phone call came two weeks later. Her niece called to tell me that Becky had suffered a major heart attack and the doctors weren't giving them much hope. When I got to the hospital and entered the ICU area, I saw Becky's body lying there being supported by a ventilator. The doctor came in that morning to notify the family that Becky had no brain activity and that they should think about removing her from the life support system.

I immediately knew that this was a situation that would not leave me the same as a pastor. I had never witnessed someone dying, and I had never met any of her family at all. The only thing I knew what that they didn't know the Lord, and here I am now with them trying to offer them the only support I knew--my God. I breathed a prayer for strength and plunged right in. God would see them through. God's grace is enough. I was assured that Becky would be with Him and completely healed.

I felt scared, empowered, shy, and bold--all at the same time. A voice and strength I didn't know I had came out, and I was able to minister in a time of chaos.

Becky left the world that day, but memories of her still linger in my mind. In the days that followed, I grieved--for all of the things I should've, could've, and would've taught her. I wondered, "Did I do/say all that I could've? Did I do a good enough job?"

I thought about the first day of school for my first-born. I constantly racked my mind her first day asking myself, "Did I teach her respect for elders? Did I teach her how to write her name? Does she know her parents' names/phone numbers just in case? Did I pack her a good lunch? Is she dressed well?"

As I thought about Becky standing before God, I thought along the same lines. Did I do a good enough job?

After the memorial service was over, and the family went on to go on with their lives, I understood anew the responsibility we have to minister. We're not promised tomorrow, and we're not promised another opportunity. Seize it while you have it.

Birthday

Today is my 30th birthday. That's right. It's my 30th birthday. I can't believe how time has flown. It really honestly truly seems like just yesterday I was turning 20. I guess the old saying is true: Time flies when you're having fun.

When I woke up this morning, I actually forgot that it was my birthday. But soon my sweet kids reminded me. Faith brought me a handmade felt picture that she had colored. It was beautiful and she worked so hard. She even wrapped it for me which in and of itself...broke my heart. Trevor, not to be outdone, went straight to his room to gather every stuffed animal that he thought I would like. Who could ask for better kids than these.

As I started my time with God this morning, I just thanked God for allowing me to see another birthday. I know it may seem comical to some that I say that since I'm "so young," but it's honestly the truth.

I can't imagine a better life. I can't imagine a better family. And I certainly can't imagine why God is so good to me.