Some days I wonder if I can keep going. Some days it seems like I'm just going to cave in from emotional exhaustion. I was raised a pastor's kid and saw first hand the stresses that pastors face. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into--until I became one myself. I was, to say the last, unprepared for the extreme pressure of leading a spiritual body of people. I face the realization every day that I stand responsible for the spiritual well being of 75 people! I stand responsible and will answer to God for the things I preach, teach, say, and do to influence them. I realize quite often that my decisions, actions, and words will reach into eternity. This is not some ordinary corporate leadership role. My decisions will not altar the economic crisis nor will I ever find the answer to health care reform. My decisions reach further.

The very thought of this makes my head spin and my heart skip a beat. My stomach is in my throat and I feel as though I'm going to be sick. I need to sit down a moment. But wait. God is with me. He speaks through me, and He has the power to infiltrate my thought process so that I can have the mind of Christ. I need to get to know Him more intimately. So that when I act, it is God acting through me.