Day at the Hospital

Often times when I'm visiting the hospital, especially when someone is having surgery, I often wonder, "Do they really need (or want) me here?"

My dad is a pastor, and as a child I often wondered why he was needed every time (and every day) that someone was in the hospital.

Today was one of those days. This time it was the granddaughter of a couple in our church. I had never met the granddaughter, but I felt like I should go and be with them anyway while she was in surgery. I went and they were so appreciative and immediately took me in to introduce me to their granddaughter. She is only 12, so after a few introductory comments, I said a prayer and excused myself back to the waiting room.

I don't know why, but I often wonder if the family is also asking themselves why I'm there. After all, I can pray just as effectively at home or in the office.

While we were all sitting in the surgical waiting room for the hour and a half surgery, there were moments of silence, moments of an intense nervousness nature, and moments of great conversation. During those moments I would wonder again, "Why am I here?"

Am I coming out of a sense of obligation? Am I coming out of a sense of expectation? Or am I coming to be a representative of the God who cares and is in control of their situation?

As I sat there in that waiting room, I looked around at their family. Probably half of them profess Jesus as their Savior and are involved in a local church. The other half claim Jesus as Lord but aren't involved in a church family and don't appear to be seeking God in their everyday lives.

I realized as I sat there that the opportunity before me was great and was a God-given opportunity to share the love and care of Jesus. Even if I was of no comfort to my church people (which I believe I was), I had a great chance to reach people and to witness in a way that I may never have again.

At the end of the day, I feel as though I made some headway in ministry as well as possibly gaining a new family to the church. But I can't help but remember that I lost a good 30 minutes there at first while I was focused on myself and the awkward silences.

That's what happens when we're focused on ourselves and our needs. It's only when we put God and His kingdom needs first that He is glorified and we can be used as His vessel.