Discipline

Hebrews 12:11 “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening--it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” NLT

I use coupons like a mad woman. If fact, I’ve held a few couponing seminars to teach others the methods that have proven effective for saving my family thousands of dollars a year. Some call me a cheap skate. I call myself smart. Coupons are a wonderful way to save money, and to me, it’s totally worth it. At one point, I was saving my family over $500 a month just by spending about 4 hours a week working on my strategies and plans. 

But there’s a catch. You can’t stop. When you first start, you don’t save as much because your bank of coupons/rebates have to get stocked. There’s not as many coupons in your stash as when you’ve been collecting them for a few weeks. If you miss a week of the Sunday inserts, you’ve messed up, and it’s sort of like starting over. Missing just one week of those precious legal counterfeit dollars is detrimental to your success. And it’s crucial that you are disciplined. If you just toss them all in an envelope and race off to the store, you will find yourself in a mess. Hours have to be spent preparing your plan, making lists, and reading coupon blogs in order to see the best deals. You may save some money with this method, but you will in no way see the same results as someone who has put in the time to prepare for shopping trip.

The author of Hebrews speaks in chapter 12 of God’s Loving Discipline. I was shocked to learn that there are at least eight definitions for the word “discipline.” While it can be used as both a noun and a verb, the indication is that discipline is used to make us better. Leading a disciplined life, receiving discipline in the form of punishment, and disciplining ourselves to learn a new skill all point to bettering ourselves for something else to come. It’s important, and the Bible speaks very clearly that discipline is a good thing, although painful. But Hebrews’s author is clear. The purpose of discipline is to make us more like Him. And it brings about a “peaceful harvest of right living.” Isn’t that a beautiful term? 

When we are lazy and unintentional in our spiritual lives, we need to expect the same results. Not devoting our time to prayer, Bible Study, and worship will only lead to a relationship that is stale and lacking in fervor. Where our time is spent will become the treasure of our hearts. 

Likewise, healthy living requires discipline. If we are intentional in our nutrition and exercise, we will see a healthy body. But if we are lazy and sloppy in taking care of His Temple, we will only see likewise results. Only exercising occasionally will not help if we are not disciplined in our routines. Slipping in junk food also does detriment to the good that we are trying to do when we prepare healthy food. But the painful discipline that we adhere to will only produce a wonderful harvest if we only persevere.

Do you need to cultivate discipline? The Scripture says that He will help us if we seek it. The Bible also says that discipline is the mark of a Spirit-filled life. 

Encouragement for Today

Proverbs 3:11-12 “My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.” NLT

Proverbs 25:28 “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” NLT

Proverbs 12:1 “To learn, you must love discipline, it is stupid to hate correction.” NLT

1 Corinthians 9:27a “I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should...” NLT

Failure

Proverbs 24:16 “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.” NLT

Everything I’ve ever been good at, I’ve had to work extremely hard to conquer. I’m a failure. It’s true. I’ve failed at it all. I wish that my failures had been great learning moments. I wish they hadn’t been so sloppy, so ugly, so dramatic, but the truth is, I didn’t take failure very graciously. When I fail, I fall hard...very hard. Anger, tears, and frustration blow up and threaten to blow away any poor soul that happens to be in my path at that moment. 

That’s why the first day I tried to ride my bicycle on the bike trail was so hard. For starters, it was at the end of June, and it was hot. Strike one. Secondly, there was a little incline coming back. Strike two. Going down it was a breeze, literally, going down hills on a bike is glorious! It’s the coming back up part that stinks. My family had been riding a whole 15 minutes when we decided to turn around and go back to the house. Everything was going okay. I was determined to make it, marking 30 minutes of bike riding down on my activity log. And then I saw the incline (not even really a hill) looming before me. Already sweating, drops trickled in my eyes, and it stung. My legs were like rubber bands, gasping for air, I was determined that I would. not. quit. It wasn’t going to happen. I was going to make it up this hill, and I would be victorious. Half the battle was mental, right? And I was going. to. make. it. But I didn’t make it. I was about 3/4 of the way up when the nausea took over, and it was out of my control. Strike three. There was nothing I could do. I sat there on the side of the bike trail in the tall grass, so frustrated and embarrassed. “How many people saw that,” was the first thing I said to my husband when he got to where I was kneeling. He assured me that it didn’t matter who saw it, but it sure mattered to me! I recovered a little, walked the rest of the way up the hill, and then rode my bike on the flat part of the road back to our house. When would my new strength take over and my weakness end? I had failed. Again.

In these few verses of Proverbs, the writer gives us a bit of wisdom. Everybody fails from time to time. What separates us from others is how we handle that failure. The godly won’t allow a setback to keep them down, while the ungodly only need one difficulty to knock them out. Just like fitness, times will come in our spiritual lives that threaten to knock us down. The test is whether we will get back up and keep going. The writer of Proverbs uses “seven times” in this verse to represent the many times that a person must rebound from difficulties in life. Times like these will come, be sure of that, but we must keep pressing on.

Have you failed yet? I’m sorry to put that question so bluntly, but we sure that it’s going to happen. I’m not saying to go looking for failure, but don’t be so hard on yourself when it does. Embrace the experience, learn all you can, and get back up. 

Encouragement for Today

Psalm 73:26 “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow wek, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”  NLT

Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” NLT

Dining Out

Proverbs 23:1-3 “While dining with a ruler, pay attention to what is put before you. If you are a big eater, put a knife to your throat.; don’t desire all the delicacies, for he might be trying to trick you.” NLT

After a few weeks of healthy living, the point came where my family was going to have to go out to eat. I had avoided this at all costs so far, because the thought of not being able to totally control my food selection was scary to me. And what was more, I wasn’t even able to control where we were going. My good friend’s birthday was today, and she had invited our family to her party at a local steakhouse. I thought to myself, well, they have salads...I can just order a salad. So to the steakhouse we went. The only problem..they didn’t have any meal salads...only small side ones. I ended up eating a bowl of lettuce and tomatoes with no dressing because there was no fat-free ranch! I felt like everyone was staring at me, thinking I had taken this whole weight loss thing to the extreme. I was certain they were planning my intervention right then and there. After we got home, I was able to eat a little more, meeting my nutritional needs of the day. But I was frustrated and wondered if my family would ever be able to eat out ever again. If I had just spent time doing a little research, I could’ve avoided the problem and had a much better time.

Our wise proverb today speaks of dining in unfamiliar territory. While this Scripture probably is referring to a young man’s manners and test of self-control, this truth still applies when trying to live a healthy life. We must pay attention to what is served to us. We are not always going to be able to control the things that we eat, especially in today’s society. Just because something “looks” healthy, doesn’t mean it is. Condiments, sauces, and oils hide tons of calories/fat that we would otherwise not even notice. Birthday parties, family celebrations, holidays, church potlucks, and work luncheons serve to put a dent in our well-planned food choices. But we can still be faithful to eating healthy, even in all of those situations. 

The main thing that helps me stay on track is paying attention to restaurants’ nutritional information. More and more restaurants are posting their calories/fat/protein calculations on their menus/menu boards. Also, more restaurants realize that more people have dietary restrictions, therefore, they are attempting to meet the demand by adding more healthy options. My best advice, to be totally prepared is to try to view the entire nutritional information online before you even go to the restaurant. Have your order in mind before you go, so as to better fight temptation once you arrive and the aroma hits.  

Secondly, don’t be afraid to ask for substitutions. I am a people-pleaser, and I hate to inconvenience people. I hate to ask servers to specialize my meal, and I hate even worse, sending an order back. But I’ve learned to do it. Substituting that baked potato for grilled vegetables, or simply taking the processed cheese off of my chicken tacos has saved a TON of calories, simply by asking. Restaurants customize meals all the time...why not do it for you too?

Thirdly, my family avoids fast-food altogether...unless it’s Taco Bueno or Chick-fil-A. Fast food typically is calorie/fat laden, and the sodium content is out of the roof! Taco Bueno and Chick-Fil-A have healthy options that our whole family enjoys, and they don’t break the bank!

The best advice I can give someone is to simply eat at home. It’s cheaper, it’s honestly faster, and you know exactly what you are putting in your body. When you find yourself in a situation where you have to dine out, put some time in first doing a little research. It will pay off!

Encouragement for Today 

Proverbs 17:1 “Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting--and conflict.” NLT

1 Corinthians 8:8 “It’s true that we can’t win God’s approval by what we eat. We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do.” NLT

Setting Goals

Philippians 3:13b-14 “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” NIV

Throughout my adult years, I always laughed about how I had weighed 135 pounds in junior high school, but that number was totally unattainable. I would shop for clothing and skip the misses section altogether. Straight to the plus sized selections I’d go, inwardly feeling discouraged and hating the thought of having to try on yet another bigger size than the last time. They were just making clothes different than they used to, I’d reason to myself. 

“If I could just get below 200 pounds, I’d be happy,” I thought to myself. I had just started my weight-loss journey, and I didn’t really know what my goal should be. All I knew was that I wanted to lose weight. I was currently 225 pounds, and I remembered having been around 190 when I became pregnant with both of my children. That wasn’t so bad I thought. Surely, if I can lose just 26 pounds, I’d be satisfied with that. So I set my goal. 199 it was. I reached it. And I still wasn’t happy. I knew it wasn’t enough because I was only one size smaller! How could this be? I thought my life would be so different. After all, 26 pounds was a lot of weight! And besides that, no one had even noticed. Really! Not. one. person. noticed that I had lost the equivalent of a toddler! I was certainly proud of myself for my accomplishment, but I knew that I deserved to be healthy, and that God wanted me to be as well. 135 was starting to feel like the goal I needed to hit. I didn’t want to admit it, though, because that would mean that I had simply been making excuses all these years. Truth be told, that’s exactly what they were. I have a small skeletal frame, I’m only 5’3”, and 135 is a perfectly healthy weight for me. The only problem? 135 pounds was 64 pounds away! 

I again went to the Lord and asked for His help. He help me set attainable goals, 20 pounds per stage. I would only focus on 20 pounds at a time, trusting God for the next level. He was faithful. Trying to change my lifestyle and my body without having a goal was hard, to say the least. Once I organized my plan and had my goal in mind, it was much easier to finish my marathon.

Paul frequently uses athletic language in his writings, as he explains the goal of our spiritual lives. That is, to really, truly know Jesus, our Lord, in such a personal way as to share in His nature. As with a healthy lifestyle, and with weight management in general, our spiritual lives are also a journey. We must hold to the progress we have made in growing more like Him, never turning back, and ever drawing closer to His side. Paul was willing to give up everything, his education, his standing, his reputation, his freedom, and even his very life to obtain the “heavenly prize” of eternal life.

If we are going to be successful in our Christian lives, we must set goals for ourselves as well. How do we know how to pace ourselves in the race if we can’t locate the finish line? Could you set a goal for how long you will spend time with Him each day? Maybe you could set a goal for a particular ministry with which you want to be involved. Start attending a Bible study group and see where that leads. Aimlessly trying to live a Christian life without pressing toward a goal is difficult to say the least. Christ is the goal, though. Press toward Him!

Encouragement for Today

Proverbs 21:5 “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” ESV

2 Chronicles 15:7 “But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” ESV

Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” ESV

Friendship

Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother [sister] is born for adversity." Friendship was never meant to be shared with someone for pure recreation and enjoyment. It was never solely meant for sharing good and fun times with others. However, it was a relationship created by God to strength one another, to encourage one another, and to walk with one another on days that are hard, bad, scary, and downright terrible.

My heart is heavy today. Today is my last day to live in Northwest Arkansas, and today is the day it's final.

These are my friends Kasey (left) and Melissa (right). The kind of friendship we've shared thus far has been far from the typical lunch dates and birthday party celebrations. I met both of them when they visited the church I pastored.

Melissa and her husband were first. I remember the day like it was yesterday. A few Sundays before Easter, it was a cold and windy day, and I was standing in the foyer, excited that we had visitors. Heath and I invited them over for dinner, and we became fast friends. Kasey and her boys visited for the first time about a year later, and I was excited when they returned the second Sunday! Her husband was able to come then too, and the three of us (as well as our husbands and children) soon started our weekly Sunday lunch dates.

I honestly believe that God put us together for the tumultuous times that we didn't even know were ahead. We've walked together through health issues, family/marriage issues, financial hardships, job changes, illnesses, and just plain 'ole bad days (and plenty of good ones too). We grieve when one of us grieves, and we share in one another's joy.

You see, this is the kind of friendship that tells the truth, even when it hurts, is uncomfortable, or makes us angry! We've committed to encourage one another and hold one another accountable in our lives and more importantly, in our relationship with Christ. We want what's best for one another, even if it's not what we want to hear!

Proverbs 24:26 says, "Giving an honest answer is the sign of true friendship."

For the past (almost) two years, I haven't been their pastor. But I'm still their friend. And they're still mine. We've met (we've tried) to meet once a week to catch up and do Bible Study, and share the Word of the Lord. A relational bond is quite strong. Emotional ties are hard to break, but a spiritual bond...those ties are impossible to break.

Even if I never live in close driving distance to these two ever again, I have a spiritual bond that will never be forgotten. How I'm thankful that God joins people together in friendship. And oh, how I'm thankful for technology that will allow us to see and keep in contact with one another.

Today, I have to deal with the fact that this is my last night in Northwest Arkansas, and I can no longer drive to the local McDonald's to see them in person. But I'll be thankful that my God knows no distance  and holds us all in his hand.