Christmas Memories

Fruitcake always gets a bad rap this time of year. Apparently, it's known as a pity gift to people or a gift for someone you don't particularly like. My son Trevor is in a play on Sunday, and he was practicing his lines today. His very first line mentions "fruitcake." He went on practicing, but I couldn't get the fruitcake out of my mind.

Dewayne has always been special. I'm not really sure of the medical abnormalities that he may suffer with, but he is indeed special in other ways too. Always eager to help, and always willing to lend a hand or a strong back, Dewayne loves his church and community. Affectionately known as "Chick," to most people, the story is told that when he was a child, he didn't think there would be enough to eat for a particular meal. He went to the yard and wrung a chicken's neck, and carried it to his mother to cook. In his heart of hearts, Dewayne always just wants to help. He loves Jesus, and He loves people.

When I was a child, he loved the kids in our church. Even though his legal age was that of an adult, he played with the kids in the church in the yard during choir practice. He was literally our tree that swung us around by our hands, ankles, and was always picked first for a team when we were going to play Red Rover. He was an umpire during softball games in the cemetery (don't ask), and he was the resident referee during times of squabbles and disagreements. Every summer, he would come and get my sister and me and take us fishing. He patiently baited our hook only to watch us cast the line straight into the tree.

And Every Christmas, without fail, he would bring a fruitcake to our home. His sister apparently made fruitcakes for friends/family each year, and Dewayne always made sure that our family received one. He didn't have much to give, but he made sure that we knew we were loved. And we did. When I was a really small child, I didn't see the big deal about fruitcake. But as I grew, I realized the sentiment behind the fruitcake. No, he didn't make it with his own hands, and no, he probably didn't pay for it either, but he made sure that we got one. Because he loves us.

Today he still loves us, and I know it. When I'm in town, he always wants to see me to see how I'm doing. He always tells me that he's proud of me, even though I'm 35 years old now. And he loves my children, even though he doesn't know them that well.

I wish everyone loved like that. I wish everyone knew the joy that Dewayne carries in his heart. I've never seen a heart so pure.

This time of year, we get hurried, frazzled, stressed, and downright angry at the way people act. And sadly, sometimes the holidays bring out the worst in us. This year, I'd give anything to have a piece of that fruitcake...just to remember the depth of love that we as Christians can display if we just spend time and share with others. We don't have to give extravagant gifts or decorate elaborate cookies. Sometimes the most-often joked-about gift can be the best...as long as the recipient knows we care.

The Ultimate Joy Sucker--Customer Service

John 15:10-12, "When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you."

Shop online, they said. It'll be simpler, they said. Sure! I've shopped almost entirely online for the past several years for my Christmas list, and so far, most things have gone smoothly. Until this year. Twice this week I have had to make several calls, only after chatting online too, to two different stores for lost orders, items that won't ship, and mis-delivered orders. Sigh. Each time I call or chat, I'm met with either someone who isn't fluent in my native language or someone who just doesn't understand my situation. After each interaction, I'm frustrated and still have no solution to the problem I just called about. After my last phone call with Kohl's, I opened my email to find a new order placed on my behalf by the representative I just talked with, and she got the order wrong!!! Ugh!!! Now my problems are even more complicated than before!

All of the items are needed. I bought some coats for kids that don't have one, and the other item I only bought because I got a REALLY good deal on it. All of my kids' other gifts are accessories to THIS gift, and if it doesn't arrive and other stores sell out, I've got to do my Christmas shopping ALL OVER AGAIN!!

Can you tell I'm frustrated?!?!

My husband and I have both worked in positions where we were the person on the other end of the phone or across that counter that is receiving the frustrated message from a customer that just wants the situation rectified. And most of the time, the customer isn't very kind. I mean, it's their job as a Customer Service Representative to represent the company to the customer. Therefore, their job is to take the heat and make the situation right. Right? Technically. But not morally.

Inside I know how that customer service representative feels. They're taking the heat for a policy and a problem which they did not create. They didn't make the stupid policy. And they didn't forget to personally ship your order. And they certainly did not understaff their company, making for "longer than expected" wait times.

Unfortunately, we see what I like to call "Customer Service Abuse" in our culture. And we see it on both sides of the counter. Angry customers, red in the face, fighting for what they feel is justified, and in most cases, they're asking for something free on top of the rectified situation. And then we see companies that just don't care that they aren't providing great customer service. Representatives aren't empowered or trained to make the situation right, and quite frankly, their attitude stinks.

If we're not careful, this joyous time of year can be the opposite...a joy-sucker. When I got off the phone the last time with Kohl's, I was literally shaking I was so angry. But today, while I was on hold with Toys 'R Us for 50 minutes, I used the opportunity to run a few miles on the treadmill while I waited. Voila! Productivity at it's best, I say. After I finished with my phone call with Toys 'R Us, I turned to the word in John chapter 15.

Jesus doesn't just suggest, He commands us to love one another. Why? So that our joy may be full. Hmm... It's interesting to me that our joy is dependent on loving someone else. Even in our Christian culture, we feel as though it's okay to be frustrated and abuse the representative on the other side of the counter when we are justified in our stance. When we have been wronged, and the person attending us isn't doing what we think should be done, we feel it's okay to abuse them and to show them less than the love of Christ. In fact, we even use "God bless you," in a cursory tone while giving them the stink eye when we turn around in a huff to leave. I've seen it time and again.

And we wonder why joy just doesn't seem to be real. Where's the joy after you've treated someone in a way contrary to the way that Jesus would have us to do? Where's the joy when we stiff our waitress of her hard-earned tip because she's overworked and didn't refill our drinks quickly enough? Where's the joy when we are decorating our lawns with nativity scenes, huge letters that ironically spell out "J.O.Y." yet we have barked orders at our families because the Christmas ornaments aren't equally distributed?

Where's the joy? Jesus says we receive full joy when we love one another. Would it kill us to just show a little bit of kindness to a cashier that's heard nothing but complaints all day? They probably do understand our plight, but they are powerless to do anything about it. Would it really harm our bottom line to be understanding to an overworked waitress that's really trying to do her best but comes up short sometimes? Would it really ruin the season if our ornaments are a little skewed? Our kids are happy, excited, and proud that they've done a good job. Why can't we just love one another?

Would you like the recipe for a less-stressed Christmas season? Would you like to actually live like we portray ourselves to our friends and neighbors? Would you like to actually live like we see other families living on the Folgers commercial? Just love one another.